The Magic Answer is Chewy Granola Bars Of Course

I took a super huge accounting test today. We only have three tests in there, so it was pretty important. I have decided that I like accounting and could possibly want to major in it. I have two requirements for my future job:

1. I want to make a lot of money.
2. I want to wear a suit or business clothes every day.

Accounting has a lot of potential to fill my requirements. Some of you may think that I am not taking the whole "decide your whole life thing" seriously enough. But when you are perhaps the most indecisive person on the planet, you tend to go to crazy lengths to actually make a decision. I mean, I decided to go to UAB because I liked the freshman dorm, and that worked out. If I can make a random choice about a college, why not a career?

I have been having a lot of trouble with the whole "timeline" of events that are supposed to occur when a person reaches my approximate age. I feel like I am being forced to make decisions that I am not mature enough to make just because this is the typical age that people expect you to make these decisions. I really don't know what else I would do if I weren't in college. I can't just hang out and do nothing. And God forbid if I ever have to work at a mediocre waitressing job again. But still, I feel so pressured and rushed. I am a little scared of commitment in general. It seems like a wonderful idea to be certain of people and events in your life, and I am quite sure that I will want it someday. But now I look back on so many failed ideas and failed relationships. I have gone from wanting to be a pharmacist, to nursing, to psychology, to pre-law. During that time, it was right for me. The feeling of "rightness" felt completely real. How do I know that this feeling of rightness will not pass? How many times can I be so certain of something before I change my mind once again? When will I experience the real feeling of rightness?

Enough soul-searching questions for one night. I have yet another test tomorrow to study for. And I'm totally mad because really how unfair is it to have a test TWO days in a row? Gosh, how mistreated I am by my professors!

P.S. I have unfortunately gotten into the habit of eating when I am supposed to be studying. I will take random breaks to get food just to have an excuse not to study. Tonight, I binge-ate three chewy chocolate chip granola bars to distract me from my psychopathology and culture test tomorrow. And that was just for dessert.

I am even amazed at that procrastination skill.