The Requirements of Being a Nerd

Today I got a "practice paper" back in philosophy that served the purpose of teaching us the grading style of our professor before we had a real assignment due. BUT THEN he totally throws in a twist today by allowing us to count this grade for our first paper if we so choose. THEN he builds the suspense by stating that "two of you will take me up on this offer." So now I am completely on the edge of my seat staring at the pile of papers that contain my fate. One by one, the papers are returned to their writers. And just as anticipation climaxes, my name is called.

Don't you just freakin hate how professors always put your grade on the last page!!!

So naturally enough, after frantically thumbing through the pages to the end, I find myself in the elite two (assuming that this means the two who would take him upon his offer made A's). I sit back with smug satisfaction and look around the room at the fifty or so classmates that comprised my competition. Yeah, they never stood a chance.

This is what makes you a nerd, by the way.

Also, a recent conversation with my friend Jason:

Jason: "Let's skip class today. Come on, he hasn't started yet. Let's just go."
Carrie: "WHAT? No!"
Jason: "Come on, he never talks about anything in the book. Come on, let's go. He's fixing to start."
Carrie: "No. What if he says something important? I'm scared."
Jason: "Right now. Last chance."
Carrie: "Ummm...."
*Professor begins to teach*
Jason: "Well now you've waited too long."
Carrie: "I'm sorry!!!"