In Which I Slowly Lose My Mind

Here it is at 1:03 am and I am definitely only halfway through with a super huge take home test for American Lit. Yes, I am so very very bad. I had a pretty interesting weekend. I went to the Alabama game with my friend Leighann and was going to dedicate an entry to that with pictures and everything. But alas, my computer is being weird about pictures. Imagine my computer being weird? I shall have to save that entry for a day when my computer decides to get along better with me.

To change subjects entirely, I normally never watch the news because I am convinced that the media has too much power and could very easily manipulate what we see and therefore what we believe. It may be a stretch, but sometimes I become exceedingly convinced that the media actually forms the perception of reality that they know will increase ratings (i.e. violence, drugs, sex) and then proceeds to feed it into viewers until the line between actual reality and the more exciting version becomes increasingly blurred. The problem with my views, however, is that there actually is a lot of crazy shit going on now, what with wars and natural disasters and all. It probably would do me a lot of good to learn about what is going on in the world that I live in. But every time I watch the news, I just get really scared that the world is falling apart and we are all going to die. So the point of this is that as I was running in the rec center this afternoon, I couldn't help but watch some CNN coverage on one of the televisions. And as I watched the homeless roam the streets in the cities devasted by the hurricanes and the soldiers that died in a recent helicopter crash in Iraq, I did get really scared that the world is going to fall apart and that I am going to die. And I renewed my goal to never watch news.

But that does remind me that there is a lot of movies that I want to see. Even though I'm not such a big fan of all of the real life stuff that's going on right now, I am a ginormous fan of make believe. Maybe it's because my life has always involved a lot of make believe. I had such an imagination as a child that my fantasies would sometimes escape in vocalized conversation. This habit of talking to myself often resulted in several threats to be taken to a therapist when caught by my mother, but the more positive aspects included a greater appreciation of make belive and increasing attributes of creativity.

I must get started on my paper, because really this is pathetic. I will never graduate if I don't learn to start on papers before 1:00 in the morning. But perhaps I am being overdramatic due to the fact that everything seems more serious at this early time. A rational person would hardly assume that I was in danger of not graduating because I procrastinated on one paper my sophomore year.

So, I guess I'm in pretty bad shape people because not only do I think that the world is going to fall apart and I am going to die, but I talk to myself and never graduate in the process. Man, I really do need someone to take care of me, because I'm totally sucking at this.