In Which I Fail as a Girl and Totally Admit That I Cannot Shop

A recent conversation with my friend Jason:

Jason: "Do you want to come with me to Brookwood Mall to take back a shirt?"
Carrie: "Only if you promise that I don't have to shop myself."
Jason: "Why don't you want to shop?"
Carrie: "Because those helper people harrass and intimidate me."
Jason: "They are only there to help!"

So Jason takes me to one of the most expensive stores in the mall, where I proceed to nonchalantly attempt to pick out jeans. I had barely begun to look when I was bombarded with a shaggy-haired, holey-jeaned high school boy asking if I need help. "No, I'm just looking." I don't really think anyone who wasn't mentally disabled would need help looking for clothes. Then I was pounced upon by another shaggy clone upon exiting the dressing room who wanted to know whether or not I was ready to check out. But I wasn't ready to check out. I was still looking. Then I was attacked with the original future abercrombie model in training asking yet again, "Do you need help?"

"NO I am just LOOKING!"

Oh my god.

I was afraid to move on to shirts for fear that I would actually be physically assaulted. So I quickly purchased my two pairs of jeans and bolted for the door, where the words"Bye, have a nice day!" rang in my ears.

I have yet to figure out why I am completely socially retarded. That, combined with my limited knowledge of the fashion world, makes me a pathetic excuse for a girl.

P.S. Another conversation that I overheard in the dressing room:

Whiney Girl: "But these one's just don't fit me right. I definately need to try a zero!"
Boy/Boyfriend: "They look fine!"
Whiney Girl: "No, I definately need to try a zero. And it probably needs to be long. Do you think that zeros come in long?"

So Carrie almost got arrested for bolting through a dressing room door to beat up a tall skinny model changing next to her. Just shut up and wear your one, because honey you could be me in the next stall trying on a five short.

Feeling Bad

Hurting someone is the worst feeling in the entire world.

Bored

Yes, it has been awhile. And I'd like to say that it is because I've been doing fabulous and exciting things and just haven't managed to find the time to update my poor little blog. But that is actually the farthest from the truth. Truthfully, I've been bored, lazy, and slacking in school. But eh, who doesn't get into those slumps?

I have decided to declare accounting as my major. It's strange though, because when I tell people I get the same reaction that I did when I told people what college I was going to. They just sort of scratch their heads and give me a puzzling look. However, I am firmly set as of this five minutes that I will make a fabulous accountant and someday I will make tons of money.

Tonight I will probably watch my fishy swim around in his little fishy bowl and maybe eat a cracker or two. I might flip through the channels and watch Friends and Sex in the City. And I will probably definitely be thinking that I am going to get so lost when my mom comes to Birmingham on Saturday and I must meet her for lunch.

Maybe I need a job to fill up all of this extra downtime I've been experiencing.

Hahahaha. That was a joke.

But really, my brain has turned to mush. Can anyone help?